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Love, Marriage, Relationships – For A Muslimah !

December 25, 2010

Some insight into the long lasted ‘halal’, ‘trust-worthy’ LoVe and ‘temporary’ , ‘fake’ LoVe out there for my cutie pies, sisters in Islam who are unaware of the reality :

………..but why am I saying these all of a sudeen?……becausssssse my dear sisters, you don’t know there are many traps out there for you and by the time you will realise it was a trap for you someone else might be accusing you that YOU (yes , its YOU ! ) who trapped him !

…..& you know what even though you are a well-covered, modest sister you are NOT free from the fitnah that this world have around you ( thats why I AlWaYs pray to Allah that Allah saves me from creating any fitnah for anyone and saves me from anyone else’s fitnah ! Make a prayer right now, doesn’t matter whichever situation you are in because Allah looks at your heart, how sincere you are in asking ! I pray from bottom of my heart ! I want to get married and forget all bitter experiences of my life but I don’t want to have dilliusion that I am a ; free’  ‘love bird’ and then realise when I break my wings / hands that indeed I am just a daughter of Adam in this cursed world! ) .

Indeed you are in danger of falling love and make someone else to fall in love with you (I mean out of marriage). Now you are thinking how is that possible , right? You are shocked because you don’t even talk to guyes unnecessarily, don’t look at them but….. you know what?? Me and many other sisters in same situation but still threats of fitnah follow them everywhere !

Just that day I saw a well-covered muslimah outside my exam hall and I can tell she is from this country ( UK ). Unfortunately, she was talking to a guy and first of all I didn’t really think they were in a relationship or they were together because they were standing far away from each other and when I came out they were not talking but later on I realised she was trying to hide her face from me ! Thats when I turned my face to look at her again (because I thought that sister standing alone and I am crossing her so I should speak to her, give her company…….for 2 mins? LOL ! Yes, I have a habit those people whom I like I don’t want them to feel alone or something and I have noticed in me many times! ) she was like ‘ Oh God !’ . May be she was thinking or may be that brother said to turn her face because that jilbabi sis (me) may know her (btw, she doesn’t study with us for sure as I never saw her before at my uni but I saw that bro) . Then I looked back again & knew it for sure that they are in love because you know the ‘vibe’ these type of relationship has around the lovers.

Anyway, the moral of the story is though she is a God-fearing muslimah she fell in the trap ! Yup, sisters and it can be you, me or any other sister you know !

…….and the funny thing is, do you know by the time she will be out of the ‘delusion’ what will that guy tell her? He will accuse her of all the dilemma , all the troubles and tell her she is a ‘fake’ hijabi because she covers up and then make relationships with brothers !

To be honest with you sisters, you don’t know the reality of these brothers  whether he is a practising or non-practising ! Even that guy I saw with her had female friends from his back-home as I saw him with her ALWAYS and anyone can tell they have a very close relationship ! I don’t know whether she knows it or not but if she doesn’t I will not be surprised because guys are really EXPERT in hiding their ‘good deeds’ relating females!

He may make you think he doesn’t have any type of friendship with women neither any type of contact but then later on you may find out how many conversations he had with women regulerly recently and ‘hard to guess’ (about him) things he has shared with women !

Yes, its possible for both practising and non-practising men ! They may CLAIM I never go to ‘facebook’ because of the fitnah (women related) facebook has but then you may find out oneday how many female friends he has added in his facebook page!  ……..&  its all real, trust me sisters! It happens always!

Realising these things, to be honest I had lost the ‘passion’ to get married, now I feel like ALL men must be like that whether they have beard, whether they lower gaze, wear Islamic clothings or not !  In my case, I also do not talk to men unless necessary, neither I go to facebook, twitter neither I add ‘male’ as my friends in my Youtube page but am I free of fitnah? NO WAY ! I realise there are ‘LOADS’ of fitnah around me everywhere !

A guy texting me recently that he got my number from a sister who said I am Islamic minded etc but I cannot buy his story. I asked his ethnic origin and name and then told her sorry my parents will not allow me to marry you, so things cannot go further, don’t contact me again !  SubhanAllah then he changed his tone and said ‘oh ok ! I didn’t mean we have to marry right now! We can get to know each other first! There is no harm in it !! ‘ !!!!  I told him , ‘I can’t get to know 100 men you know’ but he still was replying , ‘listen ye, I don’t think 100 men will be contacting you so seriously ! ‘ blah blah blah ! He says that he is chartered accountant (Not that chartered accountant should be the the best but I mean that guy should have a life and should not bother me like this!) !!!

Oh I am just fed up of it ! Now he is contacting me again today but I never replied ! I don’t even know him and look how fitnah reaches people even in their home !

Anyway, moral of the story is, no sister is free from fitnah of their opposit gender. So, my kind advice would be to keep yourself AWAY from the brothers sisters ! You know when a very decent, very handsome man keeps showing interest in you then if you are single then you DO get weak in heart (at least 5%) but then you should also remember this guy may not be the best for you , infact he may NOT BE FOR you ! So, its better to keep everything straight you know!

So, keep things straight/ halal /pure sisters and inshAllah oneday we will get the reward for it in our marriage life. You know one of  my  friends got married while we were in the college. She had relationship before getting married but then it ended when she got married and after her marriage I heard she (who was deeply in love with someone before marriage) was telling other friends , ‘do you call relationships before marriage as ‘love’ ?’ !!! SubhanAllah! I just want to feel so special after marriage that I forget once I had so much headaches fighting with the fitnah of free-mixing, fitnah of myself ! You know I do not wear make-up neither showy hijab/jilbab etc (but I do feel those women who do these things to attract women they do get married quickly may be because they attract the attention of men (not ‘may be’, actually this is the reason) whom they get to know in diffrent places, so sometimes it makes me upset that because I keep myself ‘simple’ for the sake of Allah won’t I be valued?!! I think like that because I already heard some showy jilbab, make-up wearing sisters saying you do need to wear the hijab and stuff  ‘properly’ in order to look nicer!!! …..but I concsiously cannot take effort to attract men! *just breakes my heart* ) as I am preserving everything for my husband so I really want a husband who will love me so much, make me feel so special that I will LIKE to dress-up, do my hair for him ! *smile*

So, yeah, inshAllah Allah will provide us whatever is best for us.

  1. November 16, 2012 7:34 pm

    May Allah make it easy for all our brothers and sisters who are striving to stay clear from the fitna of the opposite sex. May Allah (swt) accept this prayer from us:
    “O our Sustainer! Grant that our spouses and our offspring be a joy to our eyes, and cause us to be foremost among those who are conscious of Thee!” (Al-furqan 74)
    Also sis wanted to tell you that I love you for the sake of Allah :), hope everything is well with you inshAllah xx

    • November 22, 2012 8:27 pm

      Jazakillahu khair for such a nice comment sis! Ameen to the dua.

      I love you too for the sake of Allah. Life is full of ups & downs but iA regardless of being a sinner I’ll be saved as always *thumbs up* :) . Take care ukhti.


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