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July 7, 2010

As-Salamu Alaykum (peace be upon you),

What is considered free mixing?
– Men and women are permitted to be in the same place. (i.e. shops, streets etc)
– Men and women should avoid situations where they are crowded together or seated together.
– Repetitive acquaintance should be avoided to prevent familiarity.
– Business like discussion between man and woman is permissible when necessary.
Why is it like this?
– Prevention of intimate relationships developing outside of marriage.
– Prevention of gossip and slander that can destroy relationships and families.
– Prevention of one party “falling in love” and being hurt.
– Prevention of children being born outside of marriage.
– Prevention of families being broken up.


The Evidence
Allah says: “Nor come nigh to adultery”.
Allah says: “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them.” and says: “And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty.” [Noble Quran 24:30-31]
Allah says: “And when you ask the ladies for anything, ask them from behind a screen. That makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs.” [Noble Quran 33:53]


The Prophet (peace be upon him) forbade men and women from being alone together. He said: “Never is a man alone with a woman except that Satan is the third party with them.”
The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: “Do not enter into the company of women.” A man then asked him: “What about her male in-laws?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: “The in-law is the most dangerous”.


The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: “It is better for one of you to be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a strange woman.”
Allah says: “Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak with a speech (that is) proper.” [Noble Quran 33:32].
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Any woman who puts on perfume then goes and passes by some men to let them find her scent is a type of adulteress.” [Musnad Ahmad, Tirmidhi]
Umm Salamah said: “When the Prophet (peace be upon him) completed the prayer, the women would get up to leave. He would then wait awhile before standing.” Ibn Shahab said: “I believe that he waited for a while to give the women an opportunity to depart before the men.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]

It was related in al-Bukhari that women at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not circumambulate the Ka’bah along with the men. `A’ishah used to go around the Ka’bah at a good distance from the men and avoided mixing with them. Once another woman bade to her to go forward with her so they could touch the corner of the Ka’bah. `A’ishah refused to do so. [Sahih al-Bukhari]

One of `Ayshah’s handmaidens came to her and said: “O Mother of believers, I went around the Ka’bah seven times and touched the corner twice or trice”. `Ayshah replied: “May Allah not reward you for pushing your way through men. It would have been sufficient for you to you to say “Allah Akbar” as you passed by”. [Musnad al-Shafi’i]
Punishment for Zina
In this life
Fornication is 100 lashes
“The male and female who commit fornication -flog each of them with one hundred lashes, and let not compassion for the two of them keep you from complying with Allah’s religion, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a group of believers witness their punishment.” [Noble Quran 24:2]

Adultery is death
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “It is not permitted to shed the blood of any Muslim …. Except in three cases: a soul for a soul, the married person who commits adultery, and the one who forsakes his religion…” [Bukhari and Muslim]



The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The man who has laid his hand with lust on a woman who is not permissible to him will come on the Day of Judgment with his hand tied to his neck. If he kissed her, his lips will be cut in the Fire, and if he had sexual intercourse with her, his private parts will speak against him in the Day of Judgment saying: ‘I did what was forbidden.’ Allah Most High will look at him with anger, and the flesh on his face will sag and he will look haggard and old. He will say: ‘What did I do?’ His tongue will witness against him saying, ‘I said what was forbidden’; his hands will speak and say, ‘We reached for what was forbidden’; each of his feet will say. ‘I went to a forbidden place.’; and his private parts will say, ‘I did it.’ An one of the guardian angels will say, ‘I heard it.’ and the other guardian angel will say, ‘I wrote it,’ and Allah Most High will say, ‘I knew it but I concealed it.’ Then He will say ‘My angels, take him and give him a taste of My punishment. Great is My anger against the man who had so little shame towards Me!'”



Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team

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